9 Steps to Better Communication in a Relationship – What to Know
Welcome to this article on 9 steps to better communication in a relationship. Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history, and expectations into it. Two different people also have different levels of skill when it comes to communication. But better communication, because it is a skill, can also be learned.
Communication either makes or breaks most relationships. You can improve your relationship today, right now, by putting into practice some of these tips for improving the communication in your relationship.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Stop and listen.
How many times have you heard someone say this or read this in an article about communication skills? How hard is it to actually do when you’re “in the moment?” Harder than it sounds. When we’re knee deep within a serious discussion or argument with our significant other, it’s hard to put aside our point for the moment and just listen. We’re often so afraid of not being heard, we rush to keep talking. Ironically, such behaviour makes it all the more likely we won’t be heard.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Force yourself to hear.
You’ve stopped talking for the moment, but your head is still swirling with all of the things you want to say, so you’re still not really hearing what is being said. Laugh all you want, but therapists have a technique that works very well that “forces” them to really hear what a client tells them rephrasing what a person has just said to them.
This may upset a partner if you do it too much, or do it in a tone that suggests you’re mocking rather than trying to seriously listen. So use the technique sparingly, and let your partner know why you’re doing it if they ask “Sometimes I don’t think I’m getting what you’re telling me, and doing this lets me slow my mind down a bit and really try and hear what you’re saying.”
9 Steps To Better Communication – Be open and honest with your partner.
Some people have never been very open to others in their life. Heck, some people might not even know themselves, or know much about their own real needs and desires. But to be in a relationship is to take a step toward opening up your life and opening up yourself.
Being open means talking about things you may have never talked about with another human being before in your life. It means being vulnerable and honest with your partner, completely and unabashedly. It means opening yourself up to possible hurt and disappointment. But it also means opening yourself up to the full potential of all a relationship can be.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Pay attention to nonverbal signals.
Most of our communication with one another in any friendship or relationship isn’t what we say, but how we say it. Nonverbal communication is your body language, the tone of your voice, its inflection, eye contact, and how far away you are when you talk to someone else. Learning to communicate better means that you need to learn how to read these signals as well as hear what the other person is saying. Reading your partner’s nonverbal signals takes time and patience, but the more you do it, the more attuned you will be to what they’re really saying.
All the while you’re reading your partner’s nonverbal signals, be aware of your own. Make and maintain eye contact, keep a neutral body stance and tone to your voice, and sit next to the person when you’re talking to them.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Stay focused in the here and now.
Sometimes discussions turn into arguments that can then morph into a discussion about everything and the kitchen sink. To be respectful of one another and the relationship, you should try and keep the discussion focused to the topic at hand. While it’s easy to get in the cheap shots or bring up everything that an argument seems to call for, just don’t. If the argument is ostensibly about who is making dinner tonight, keep it that topic. Don’t veer off down the country road of who does what in the house, which is responsible for child rearing, and by the way, who cleans the kitchen sink.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Try to minimize emotion when talking about important, big decisions.
Nobody can talk about important, big matters if they feel emotionally vulnerable or charged-up and angry. Those are not the times to talk about the serious issues. You might think it impossible, nonsensical or even contradictory to talk about an emotional topic like getting married or having children without emotion. And yet, these discussions need to keep a foothold of rationality to them in order to not gloss over the realities that they bring. Marriage, for instance, brings the combining of households and living with another person day-to-day. Having kids isn’t just about cute toddler clothes and painting the nursery, but talking about who’s going to change diapers, feed the newborn, and be available at all hours of the day and night for months on end.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Be ready to cede an argument.
How many times do we continue to argue or have a heated discussion because we simply want to be “right?” Many couples’ arguments revolve around one party thinking they’re “right” and the other party not willing to cede the point or back off. In fact, though, both parties need to back off.
By doing this, you are giving up a piece of yourself by compromising and not insisting on how right you are. Well, that’s something only you can decide. Would you rather be in a happy relationship where you respect the other person, even if you may occasionally disagree with them? Or would you rather be in an unhappy relationship where you know you’re always right, no matter what? It just comes down to your priorities if being “right” is more important to you than your partner’s happiness, then perhaps you have not found the right partner.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Humour and playfulness usually help.
You don’t have to be funny in order to use humour and playfulness in everyday conversations. You just need to use the sense of humour you do have and try and inject it into more of your communications with your partner. Humour helps lighten everyday frustrations and helps puts things into perspective more gently than other methods. Playfulness reminds us that even as adults, we all have a side to us that enjoys fun and taking a break from the seriousness of work and other demands made on us.
9 Steps To Better Communication – Communicating is more than just talking.
To communicate better and more effectively in your relationship, you don’t only have to talk. You can communicate in other ways through your actions, and nowadays, electronically too All too often, couples focus only on the talking aspect of their relationship, but your actions also speak loudly. Keeping in touch throughout the day or week through email or other electronic means also reminds the person you’re thinking about them and how important they are in your life. Even if such communications are mainly playful or inconsequential, they can help lighten your partner’s day and improve their mood.
Some couples also find that using email or another method is easier to discuss emotional issues rather than trying to do so face-to-face. It’s something to consider if every time you try and bring up a particular topic with your significant other, it turns into an argument or they shy away from it. Email or texting may be a way of communicating about such matters more openly and directly.
Nobody is a perfect communicator all the time. But you can work to become a better communicator by trying a few of these tips. They won’t all work, nor will they work all the time. Better communication, however, starts with one person making the effort to improve, which often encourages the other to come along for the ride.
Questioning in Relationships…
Here we would be giving a quick review on 1000 Questions for couples by Michael Webb.
1000 Questions for Couples Program Quick Review – About the Program
1000 questions for couples is an ebook written by Michael Webb, the 1000 Questions for Couple pdf is a tool for improving relationship as well as saving marriages from divorces. The author of this book – Michael Webb – is an expert in counseling couples and also helping them realize what is important to having a successful marriage life.
As the title implies, the 1000 Questions for Couple pdf ebook is a guide that presents 1000 most frequently asked questions couples have about their relationships. The author expertly answered all these questions assisting dating and married get a better perspective on the various issues they are confronting in their relationship.
As many of the 1000 Questions of Couples will say, the 1000 Questions for Couples ebook is not intended for married couples alone. Young couples can also make use of this advantage. If you wish to take your relationship to the next level, then I strongly recommend this program for you.
Michael Webb put in his expertise, experience and study of relationship to compile series of questions that he feel will be essential for every couples, married or not, to improve their relationship. 1000 question’s for couple’s is compilation of all these questions into one awesome book. If you feel that your relationship wth your partner needs a fresh start then I suggest you kick start your relationship with 1000 questions for couple’s pdf eBook.
Also, if you just started your relationship and you want to know if you have made a right choice of partner, the 1000 Questions for Couples can help you with the questions you can ask such person to know the kind of person he or she is and if the decision you have just made is the right one. The 1000 Questions for Couples system also contains many fun questions for couples that partners will really enjoy asking and also get better idea about themselves, all this will happen in a natural and funny way and your partner will not notice you were studying him.
1000 Questions for Couples Program Quick Review – Contents and Bonuses
The 1000 Questions for Couples e-book contains questions that are relating to many aspects of a relationship that you can choose from like family and friends, money, communication, hobbies as well as questions relating to sex. The 1000 Questions for Couples pdf download also contains many fun questions which are equally important apart from all the other tough and serious questions, also questions related to favorite things, vacations and entertainment.
The 1000 Questions for Couples program sections are divided into the following sections:
- Religion and Spiritual matters
- Health and well-being
- Home and Home life
- Love and Romance
- Past and Future
- Friends and Family
- Children and Child rearing
According to the author, if you and your partner can answer all these questions successfully, then there is a guarantee that you will know each other better. Michael also assures that you will be passionately connected to each other, way better than all other couples around you. The author strongly recommends couples to answer the questions in the 1000 Questions for Couples program so they can be more connected with each other. This new connection will be the foundation of a stronger and happier relationship. When couples carefully answer these questions, they will become more open and intimate with each other in the end.
The questions asked in the 1000 Questions for Couples ebook are not basic questions like “honey, what is your favorite color?” Instead you will be asked questions that can bring out the real personality of your partner. You will be asking more productive questions like “Honey, what kind of relationship do you have with your parent?” which will give your partner a clue on how you treat your parents. Another example of the kind of question that you will find in the 1000 Questions for Couples pdf ebook is “what kind of clothing do you find sexy?” This will enable you girlfriend of wife to know that kind of clothes she should not wear at all. The answers to these questions might seem a little insignificant to you but the truth is that these answers will give you a better understanding of your spouse.
The 1000 Questions for Couples program also comes with certain bonus materials. Michael Webb gave a free 300 day email course that you can take advantage of if you have clarifications about the 1000 Questions for Couples e-book. You can also ask to have three to five of the questions from the 1000 Questions for Couples guide sent to you via email every day so you and your partner can answer these questions in the next 300 days. That’s fun if you ask me. Answering these questions present a great, effective way of knowing your partner a whole lot better than you think you do. Other bonus materials include the “Four Powerful Tools In Your Romance Toolbox”, “Six Values Needed to Build a Strong Marriage” and many more.